Rheumatoid Arthritis

What do you do when your doctor tell you that you might have rheumatoid arthristis? Even the doctor is doubting his own eyes since it is almost impossible for someone who is not even in their 30 to have RA.

My mind went blank for 2 seconds and it went balistic afterwards with all kind of questions. However, everything still came up blank or maybe I'm still in denial phase. I will come out of it, just not at this moment.

Amazing Grace - by Chris Tomlin

I got to know about this from a friend's blog and I would like to share it with everyone. During my church going days, I have had always love listening to this hymn. This version has a change in the lyrics but it still bring tears to my eyes listening to it.



Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine

You are forever mine

感情


你希望想拥怎样的感情?
一切都依你的? 或是一切都依他的?
有时，我想了再想， 自己却觉的有些矛盾。
当然最完美的答案就是平衡的.
有compromise的。

这谁都知道， 但是要做的到却是很难。
人没有完美的。 我也一样。
多次提醒自己要多体谅，
却是忍了。 但是也伤了。

能不能全复元， 不知道。
伤痕雷雷， 就想小时候经常跌伤的knee。
或许会复元吧。
Only time can tell， 对吗?

A tribute to Father

Yesterday was Father's Day. A day where most people would be celebrating it with their dad or husband. As usual I'm not celebrating it with my dad neither do I have a husband. It has been so long that I don't even remember when was the last time I celebrated the occasion with my dad.

Dad is not a man of words at all. When we were growing up, if we did good in school there are no words of praises and if we did bad in school there were no scolding as well. I just know from his expression that he is proud of us no matter what grades we get. He hardly spend time at home, when he is awake he is working. He sees to it that he provides what his family need. Now that I'm all grown up, sometime when I see kids with dad that help out with homework or play with them, I do envy them. Maybe deep inside me I am wondering what does it feels like to be in their shoes. However, I would not change a thing. I love him just the way he is because he is my dad.

Hope he is healthy for many more years to come.

真傻

觉的自己像一个大傻瓜。
人家不当做一回事的， 我却一个人在一边担心。
为什么，为什么要那样脆弱?
不是说好凡事都要坚强一点吗?
好讨厌这样的自己。好讨厌。

以后都不要，不要了。

回想起。。。

今天一个人达地铁了。
回想起我们上一次达地铁了。
也去了我们上一次坐过公园的椅子。
坐了下来。 想起好多的回忆。
当然有好也有坏。
真的想你了。

然后又听了这一首歌， 会是你吗?
我会有多少个300天?

病了。。。

星期五放工时，电话响起了。
看一看， 是二哥来电但是没能立刻接。
反复心中有一种不好的预感。
SMS 给他， 回答了call me 而已。
那时就知道家里一定发生了事情。

爸爸生病了。说有可能需要动手续。
听了我的心都寒了。 但是吃了3天药再说要不要进手续房。
不知不觉泪水掉了。
虽然可能不是很严重， 但是心理总是觉得我好不孝。
没能为他作些什么。

最近他好像不太开心。闷闷的。
我也知道去到那都不可能和在家里相比。
他想家了。但是有觉得好无奈。
应为我们总是觉的他不可以没人照顾。
我的心也跟着酸酸的。觉的对不起他。

这几天我好担心。
和他说话时， 他总是没力气的。
感觉他好痛。但又忍了没和我说。
昨天医生说病情还好。 不需要立刻动刀。
我也跟着喘了口气。还需要再观察。

还好没事。

You want a piece of me ? Come get it.

Had to miss the nice weather outside over the weekend since I need to work my on-call shift, it was really a bummer since we haven't had such a nice weather for a while. Staying at home all day long can get stuffy. I was so looking forward to the game tonight.

San Jose Sharks VS Detroit Red Wings, their third games in round 2 (semi-final of Western Conference) of the NHL playoff and first home game for this round. After the game I understand what my co-worker meant by watching a live hockey game is so different than watching it on tv even if you have a big screen tv at home with surround speakers. The ambience at the stadium is just incredible. Everyone was just chanting "Let's go Sharks! Let's go Sharks!", not to mention the standing ovation when they score a puck, it's so crazy but fun at the same time. Oh, I almost miss out another good reason to watch hockey, the occasional fighting scene :) Even a hockey dummy like me get into the mood of chanting along. I really enjoyed the game. Imagine what it's like the last couple seconds in the game when Sharks is leading 2-1, the tension of the crowd, the sound of the buzzer brought it all to an end. Sharks WON!!!!!!!!!!!! Next game will be at home too. Go Sharks!!!!!!!!!!

叶子

绿色的叶子 对我来说是代表了生命力
他对你来说代表的是什么呢?
我喜欢听这一歌 应为有时候我的心情就如歌词一般
虽然没有到那么悲惨的地步。。。

Which state have I yet to cover?

I have been to the US for almost a decade now and to trace where I have been to while I'm studying and working here... the map below will probably speak for me.




Still need to cover those places that are not in red to complete my journey here in the States. So where have you been in the US? Try your own and see what your map looks like here.

Review time

It is the time of the year again where I have to start pulling my hair and put together what have I done for the last year in the company. I really hate this time of the year although the good part to all this is there will be merit increase as the result (crossing my finger). Every year I keep telling myself that I should be putting things down in paper each time I finished a project so I don't have to go over this process each year, but for some reason I always have an excuse for not doing it. Ah... think think think....

Blame myself for being lazy ... argh...

爱的代价, what is it??????

Anybody still remember the song 爱的代价 by 李宗盛? Lately, I like to listen to old songs because it made me think of old times, some good memories I had with friends and family back home. People I have miss.

What is the real meaning of 爱的代价? There is the phrase no such thing as free lunch in this world so everything has its price to pay. What is then consider as a good price to pay for the things and lessons we learn in life? A question I have been asking myself every now and then however I always come up blank. So lost sometimes. When everyone else is working so hard to survive in this cruel world, I still have time to sit around and waste my time. Emotional me is taking over the logical me lately. Lack of sleep I asked myself?

妈妈。。。

最近想家的老毛病有犯了。每天好几次都想回一探家。
如果世界上真的有Doraemon的门， 那不就ichiban啦。
可是我们活在的可是个现实的世界。一概都不那么完美。

几天前和一位老朋友对话里，跟她说了虽然离家快要十年了，
但是我常常也会想家，想妈妈。
她听了觉得很奇怪。 为什么还是会想念?
她以为我已经习惯了这里的生活， 应该不会那么想家。

其实每个人只会看到在国外工作的好处， 但是却忘了它的坏处。
我也好想像大家一样， 可以有空周末时回家。
心情不好时回家和妈妈诉苦， 想吃妈妈手艺时回家。
或者只是无聊，没事做， 而回家。
真是得来不易。 就这么简单的举动对我来说却那么的难。
当然我没有及格抱怨， 应为这也是我的选择。
选择留下来的我就应该争当。

昨天和妈妈通电话了，聊着聊着时间过得好快。
因为太想家了所以聊了将近2个小时。
听着她声音，我的心有点酸酸的， 甜甜的。
好奇怪的感觉。
她总是会问我吃过饭了没。
最近工作好不好， 一定要好好照顾身体。
好像我还是个小孩似的。

可能对妈妈来说，我真的永远都长不大吧。
我也不想在她的心目中长大。

真的好想她。
我要记得珍惜周边的人，事，物。你们也是。

梁山伯与茱丽叶

In the eastern world we have 梁山伯 and in the western world we have 茱丽叶. I guess when it comes to the word LOVE, we are all the same. No matter what your love story is, whether it is a bumpy road or a smooth ride, in my opinion it's the course of the ride that matter. No matter how many rides it take you, I hope you would reach your destination without regret. Enjoy the song.

Presenting the new daddy and baby, ta da...















My first post in this blog, I share with you the news of a new addition to the family and yes, he is here already.

Today post is dedicated to the brother that I have always fight with growing up who has just become a daddy this past month. Of course it would not have been a fun childhood if he is just a nice brother, I did enjoy all those fighting sessions we had. I haven't seen the baby in person yet but I can definitely feel the excitement and joy he brings to everyone at home. I can't help but this is a stupid question people always ask when they see a newborn. So, do you think the baby looks like the daddy? Daddy is all smile too... Can't wait to go home and play with him. I'm an aunt again :)

Colors of spring

Every year I told myself that I should go out and take some photos of spring time in the valley but every year I ended up not doing it. This year, before it is too late, I took out my camera and snap away. Here is a couple of them to show everyone the colors of springs, hope you guys will enjoy it as much as I do.

Luckily my mood came on time because a couple days after I shot these pictures, seems like spring is almost at its end... flowers petals are falling everywhere on the sidewalks and streets.
This also means allergy season is here. Oh my... I do hope this year my allergy would not be giving me terrible time.

Spring is in the air

I started this blog last June and was going to start posting here but never did really switch over. Although we are a quarter into year 2007, I'm really going to make an effort this time.
Spring is here and we are saying goodbye to winter. That means no more weekend going snowboarding at Lake Tahoe, it will have to wait until next winter. I love the air of Spring. Flower blossoming everywhere, streets dress up with all sort of colors, it really help lift the spirit in me. But then this past week I had to spent it alone since he is out of town on business trip.

Life alone can really be boring, so since it's spring, I spent my time doing some spring cleaning at home. Not done with everything but at least I got part of it done to my own satisfaction. Been putting it off since I came back from my vacation since I am in procrastinating state of mind.

Speaking of my vacation, I took 3 weeks off in mid-February and visited Australia. Travelled from Brisbane -> Gold Coast -> Sydney -> Canberra -> Melbourne. It was fun but the weather there is really terrible. I thought summer here in US is the worst but now I know it ain't that bad. I got tan line from forgetting to put on sunblock one day in the city, that is how terrible it was. So, for anyone who are planning on visiting Aussie, if you don't like sun, remember not to go during summer because it really hurt getting burn.

Here is a photo of Harbor Bridge in Sydney. Cheers...